For years I didn’t want to talk about it. When I felt bad, it was much easier to shut down and continue pretending as if nothing was wrong. There were other times when it was easier to be in my own space rather than share and be vulnerable.
Admitting that I had a problem made me feel inferior. It made me feel like I was a burden and somehow not enough.
Not admitting didn’t make the problem go away; it just made my day-to-day worse. I don’t know how it affected my partner at the time because I never asked him but we are no longer together so it’s safe to assume that things just didn’t work. I think I needed assurance from my partner at the time that admitting that I had a problem didn’t affect how he felt about me. I just wish that I had the vocabulary to share that at the time.
Even when we know that our partners are willing to support us, it could still take a lot of courage to share such vulnerable feelings and needs.
But then, what choice do we have? Do we continue our lives in withdrawal, pain and hurt or do we face the pain and our vulnerability and allow it to dissolve.
In recent weeks, I have had the opportunity to listen to experiences of our male partners. I shared some of these in my last blog I asked our Male Partners about Sex… Their answers will shock you… and now I am sharing an interview that I did with Zac.
Zac was in a relationship with a female suvivour of childhood sexual abuse. His story is heartwarming as well as sad; even when we have the best of intentions, it can be hard to navigate around these sensitive issues.
Here it is.