The gender-shaming we live with is so subtle, so ingrained in our psyche that we never feel “good enough” and when we face situations that we don’t want, we’d rather suffer and not say anything.
Feeling of being Safe for Survivors
I think the crux of our trauma lies in never feeling safe and the healing starts once we learn to set healthy boundaries; hang out with people who respect our boundaries and allow these positive experiences to wash over ourselves.
I think most of the times, we don’t really know how to set our boundaries. Our bodies are numb and frozen and we just hope that our partners and lovers would somehow read our minds and not cross the line. Unfortunately, our friends and partners can’t read our mind; are unable to read our confusion and may still do things that harm us.
I have learned from my experiences that being clear about my YESs and my NOs was the key in creating safety for myself and re-establish my trust in this world